I hate labels, they make you feel restrictive, sometimes makes you feel entitled to behave in a certain way, but most importantly, it serves people with a chance to be judgmental without any boundaries.
But (isn’t there always a but) these labels do describe you so perfectly… avoiding us the trouble of sentences, words, expressions, etc.
Having said that,
Here I am again at a new place for my academic advancements; with new fears and anxiety [Are they new though??] of whats and hows and whens etc. with no answers. I mean why? Why is it, that I have almost photographic memory of every embarrassing incident yet manage to forget my starting days of how I made myself comfortable or approachable at each last new place? I did well there… right? … made some acquaintances… had a few people to talk to… So how did I achieve all that? Let’s say you managed it… well… and you have to do it all over again now. But how?? Because like a loop situation, encounter with every walking body with a speaking mouth tightens my sealed lips even more thus making me more anxious. Every single time.
And then say a month/week/sometimes a year later, you get in a routine, build a rapo (ok/good IDK) with your colleagues, get frustrated a bit, all while doing your said job… but altogether at rest with yourself.
P.S. – It was no miracle but your genuine reactions [good/okay/any/little] to their actions that brought you to your rest.